Oh, Bother!
by Vera-Sama
Summary: Collection of loosely related drables and oneshots. Light had no idea day-to-day life with L would be such a bother. Rating to be safe, and for language, mostly.
1. Bother 1: Reading

Overall Disclaimer for Fic: I don't own Death Note, but a girl can wish, no?

AN: This is an odd little oneshot/Drabble series comprised of loosely connected odd little ideas. I know some of them won't turn out as funny as I had hoped, but I hope this overall amuses you. I'll do full disclaimers for anything that needs disclaiming at the end of each chapter. Also, seeing as the overall premise of this is to bug the crap out of NoMemmories!Light as much as possible, if you have any suggestions, feel free to toss them my way. Who knows, I may just use them.

Overall Warnings: Mild language, mentions of sex, Shonen-ai, possible mild spoilers, OOCness and general weirdness. Enjoy!

-Oh, Bother!-

-Bother 1: Reading.-

Light sighed contentedly. It was Saturday afternoon, and although L had insisted they work at least _part_ of the day, Light had managed to talk the eccentric detective to let them have the afternoon off to relax. After all, the Task Force got Saturday _and_ Sunday off, _all day_ no less.

With his newfound free time, Light had decided to catch up on some reading, having had his father bring him some books from home. He was about half-way through the newest book in a fantasy series he'd taken to back in high school. He'd only been reading a few moments, blissfully ignoring his chain-buddy and his odd high-jinks when he felt a sharp tug at the chain. With a sigh, the overworked teen lowered his book.

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"Light-kun is reading _The Wheel of Time_…"

"…Yes, Ryuzaki…" Light was more than a little puzzled as to why L felt he needed to tell Light something so _obvious_.

"Chance of Light-kun being Kira is up by fifteen percent."

Light nearly dropped his book in surprise. "What? Why?"

"Because Light-kun is reading _The Wheel of Time_. Really, Light-kun knows how much I dislike repeating myself…"

What has _this_," light brandished the book in his head. "Have to do with _that_?" He made a vague motion in the air, as if pointing to the accusation the world's three top detectives had just made.

L sighed and adopted a one similar to one a parent would use when explaining something very simple to a very slow child. "Kira considers himself a God of Justice, yes?"

Light nodded, wondering where this was going.

"The primary force for 'good' in _The wheel of Time_ is called 'The Light', correct?"

"…Yes…" Light had a feeling he knew where this was going, and pinched the bridge of his nose in anticipation of L's next statement and the headache he knew would follow.

"If Light-kun enjoys reading a fantasy series in which his name is also that of the 'Just God', which is also something Kira would also no doubt enjoy, then it is only logical to assume that Light enjoys reading the series because it plays to the God-Complex he developed as Kira."

"Ryuzaki…" Light sighed. "I'm not Kira. I was reading this series before the entire…Kira fiasco started…how do you explain that?"

"Perhaps Light-kun was somewhat inspired by Robert Jordan's use of his name, and decided to become Kira…"

"That's ridiculous!" Light snapped. "That's like saying my parents foresaw Robert Jordan's use of the name 'Light' and decided to name me that in hopes that I would become Kira."

"Now who is being ridiculous, Kira-kun?"

"I. Am. Not. Kira." Light emphasized each word, indicating the conversation was to end there. "I'm going back to my reading now…why don't you…stack sugar cubes or something…leave me alone."

L gave a silent shrug, as if to tell the younger he would not interfere again. With a sigh of annoyance, Light returned to his reading. He managed to read all f three pages before there was another small tug at the chain.

"What, Ryuzaki?" Light asked with a groan, afraid to see what the pain attached to his wrist by six feet of chain would have to say next.

Will Kira-kun please allow me to borrow that book when he is done? I have yet to read it."

There was a sound most would identify as a strangled groan, or possibly something akin to a small animal being mutilated as the thick paperback book flew through the air, narrowly missing the raven haired detective's head.

"Light-kun could have finished reading first…but thank you." L said sweetly as he cracked open the book, holding it in his odd manner, and began to read.

'Really…' Light thought as he crossed his arms and stared out the nearest window of the sitting room the pair was occupying. 'Since when was something as simple as _reading_ such a bother?'

-Bother 1: End.-

Dedication: For Scottie-chan, as she was the one who dragged me into _The Wheel of Time_ fandom…at least somewhat. More explanation of that with a later Drabble though. xD

Disclaimer: As mentioned above, I didn't write _The Wheel of Time_, Robert Jordan did.

AN: there's our first Bother for poor Light-kun. Although this one was rather short, (The actual drabble was only about 655 words), most of them will be longer. So…feedback? Suggestions? I have several more Bothers planned, so look for updates soonish. Please review!


	2. Bother 2: AIM

Warnings: Mello always writes himself in situations like this, so there is a good bit more cursing than you may be used to seeing from me. Also, I suck at thinking up IM names for fictional characters. So sue me. Or don't. Because I want to keep my money.

-Oh, Bother!-

Bother 2: AIM

Light glanced over at L's computer screen, noticing the detective would type for a moment, pause, as if waiting for or reading something and type some more. Upon close inspection, his eyes widened slightly.

"Ryuzaki…" He addressed slowly. "Are you…chatting with someone on AIM?"

"Just some friends from back home in England." L replied absently. "Would Light-kun like to be invited to the chat?"

Light blinked once. Twice. Three times before nodding rather dumbly and giving L his screenname. He then hastily signed in to AIM, and awaited the invite.

'Why did L offer to invite me?' He wondered. 'Could he be plotting something?'

Well, L was always plotting something, be it the downfall of Kira or the grisly death of the last slice of cake, but that was mostly beside the point. When the invite window appeared, he clicked 'join' and watched as the chat window popped up. There appeared to be three people besides himself and L, and what odd screennames they had.

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** Hey, L, who's the dork?

**Games-or-Death:** Yeah, what gives? I thought this was a private chat?

**CandyMuncher1031:** I assure you, the chat is still very much private. This is Light. You remember me mentioning him?

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** Kind of a stupid screenname he's got…

**TheLightOfRavenclaw:** That's the pot calling the kettle black. At least mine doesn't sound like the title of a porno.

"How would Light-kun know about prospective titles of pornographic films?" L inquired with a smirk.

Light ignored him in favor of seeing the trio's response.

**Games-or-Death:** LOL. He's got you, Mels.

**ChocolateCoveredBlond: **-punches- Shut the hell up, Matt!

**OptimusOrBust: **typically, when one types an action out, such as Mello just did, they do not follow through with said action in real life…I do believe Matt shall have a bruise…

**ChocolateCoveredBlond: **Nobody asked you, you freakish sheep boy.

"Ryuzaki…" Light ventured. "How old are these friends of yours? They seem rather…immature…"

"That is because they are, Light-kun. They're thirteen and eleven, respectively." L answered nonchalantly. "They also have mental capabilities greater than that of your average adult…"

The three had continued to bicker amongst themselves until Games-or-Death, 'Matt' if Light followed the conversation correctly, called out to L.

**Games-or-Death: **L…Mello's being all…nasty. With his food…

**OptimusOrBust:** As usual…

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** What? I'm just eating chicken strips…

**Games-or-Death:** covered in chocolate… -shivers-

**CandyMuncher1031:** Really? How is it?

Light paused to give his chainmate a disgusted look.

**TheLightOfRavenclaw:** That's gross!

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** Your face is gross, Harry Pot-Head.

**Candymuncher1031: **Please do not insult good literature, Mello-kun.

Light just couldn't stop himself from sinking to Mello's level. It was against his better judgment, but the blond had insulted his beautiful face, and his favorite book series.

**TheLightOfRavenclaw:** Oh yeah? Well, your mom is gross, you porn star in training!

There was resounding silence in the chatroom. Several moments passed in which no one said anything. Light chanced a glance at L for some sort of explanation. L simply stared at him unblinking before pointing a finger at the screen to indicate Light should look. Light did, and saw a message from Near.

**OptimusOrBust:** While I assume Light had o way of knowing, his last comment was…as they say…below the belt.

**TheLightOfRavenclaw:** What? Matt made a porn comment earlier too…

**CandyMuncher1031:** Not that comment, Light-kun. The one concerning the maternal side of Mello-kun's family.

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** We're all orphans, jackass…and I was quite close to my mother before she…died…

**Games-or-Death: **Way to go, idiot. You've made Mels start crying! He's going to be all emo for a week now…

Light blinked at the screen several times.

**TheLightOfRavenclaw: **Seriously? Hey, I'm sorry, I just…

"Crap." Light swore aloud, unsure how to backtrack and show he really didn't mean to offend Mello. Actually, yes, he had meant to offend him…just not that level of offense.

**TheLightOfRavenclaw:** Look, Mello, I didn't mean it…

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** Look dude, just shut up, you've said enough.

**Games-or-Death:** Hello, good sir. On behalf of the internets, I must regretfully inform you to GTFO and take your FAIL with you.

**CandyMuncher1031:** Perhaps it would be advisable for Light-kun to sign out of AIM, and return to work as his father and the others will be returning shortly, and I am sure he would not want his offense to be spotted amongst his coworkers.

**TheLightOfRavenclaw: **_Has left the chat._

Having done so, he missed the next thing that was said.

**ChocolateCoveredBlond:** damn, L, you were right, he is fun to screw with. xDD as if I'd miss my mom. Bitch dropped me off at a hospital when I was born.

Light sighed as he looked over to L. "You could've mentioned they were orphans before, you know?

"I could have." L conceded. "But did not. I did not foresee Light-kun being stupid enough to rise to the baiting of a teenager."

Light suddenly felt far too annoyed to retort. Honestly, who would've thought AIM, of all things, could be such a bother?

-End of Bother 2.-

AN: Dedicated to Luna (Unspoiledrini) for the LOL Cats quote Matt used to inform Light he was made of Fail. Dedicated to Annie for the 'Your Face' line, one of her favorite comebacks. I know she'll never read this, but still I don't own AIM or Harry Potter. Hey, if my Light reads wheel of Time, why not harry Potter? xD

Also, the chocolate covered chicken strips really do taste as bad as they sound. I've had a few instances when the chocolate off a brownie would leak over on the chicken in my frozen dinner, and I couldn't bring myself to waste the food. Ick.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Please review, and feel free to make suggestions as to how to bother/annoy Light. I have a few of these planned, but I write them out in odd intervals, so I'm open to suggestions.


End file.
